I will say that I've clowned Lane Bryant a few times over the years, usually for the following reasons.
- That stuff is expensive. Jeans are $70. Shirts are $50. Even the panties are high! Everybody knows that you don't step up in there without a coupon or some Real Women Dollars. Mind you, I never remember to spend my Real Women Dollars and always find them in my wallet after they've expired.
- Maybe it's me, but Lane Bryant does best when they stick to solid colors, attractive prints, and sturdy construction. On Monday, I saw this shirt, loved the print, and when I tried it on, the sleeves look a fool. Where the hell am I going in a shirt with no arms? Why not just make it sleeveless? What's the point of this? LB, you good for having some animal print, bedazzled jean shorts that I refuse to wear. And this mess is STILL expensive. (See point 1)
- Lane Bryant stores are so far from one another. Where I live in New Hampshire, I have to go to Kittery or Portland, Maine to find a store, and that Kittery one is new! There is a Torrid in the closest mall, but I don't like their stuff.
|Look at these sleeves. I was over it!|
|My "inspirational fat woman" pose! Why do they do that open mouth laugh?|
|Eventually I picked up an orange shirt too. I always look cute in orange. Yes, I'm still standing on the bench.|
I have a whole bunch of feelings about leaving Lane Bryant behind. Despite its questionable use of spaghetti straps and glitter, it's been home for as long as I can remember. I have no idea where women go to buy clothes. I don't dress particularly fancy, choosing to spend most of my life in t-shirts, jeans, and gym clothes, but am I going to ever need (gasp!) a blouse?!?! I cringe just thinking of that word. ugh