- Go get some egg rolls. They have vegetables.
- Go get some pizza. It could possibly have vegetables.
- Go get some pad thai. It has ornamental vegetables.
- Go to McDonald's. Bump them vegetables.
I decided to go to Panera even though they just got rid of my favorite, the bbq chicken salad. Turns out that they discontinued it back in February and even tweeted everybody to come in and have some before it went the way of the dodo. (note to self: Follow Panera on Twitter). Whatever. I high stepped it up in my local Panera after passing all kinds of yummy fried food establishments. Jesus was indeed being a fence. I figured that I'd get my second favorite dish, the cream of chicken and rice soup.
I should have known it was about to be some mess when I didn't see those golden words "cream of chicken and rice" on the soup menu board, but I was already low key pissed about the salad and probably didn't want to crush all my feelings all at once. Being the playa that I am, I asked the very nice man behind the counter about the soup. He told me that they don't make that soup on Tuesday. I said, "Oh no no, my brotha, that is a Tuesday, Thursday, Sunday soup." He then said, "Oh yeah, you're right. Let me ask if there's more soup." I'm getting hyped. Pulling out my rewards card and $20 bill getting ready to get my life. Turns out that they were SOLD OUT of the soup. He had the nerve to tell me that the demand exceeded the supply. How the...ok, calm down, Courtney. It's gonna be alright, girl.
By this point, I was ready to throw that Panera card on the floor and walk out. What's the point of going to Panera if they're playing games with my two favorite dishes? I got a very sad looking half turkey sandwich and a bowl of tomato soup. They called it creamy tomato soup, but I don't know who they think they're fooling. I am a proud alum of Butter College, Cream University.
Luckily, I had some great healthy homies who helped me laugh about this whole trifling situation and not shake the table like Karlie Redd. I'm happy I stuck it out with this healthy lunch choice and now that I have 25 minutes until Coach Royce's Hour of Power, I'm glad I don't have a belly full of grease.
This little story reminds me of two things. First, my Plan B, C, or even D is ALWAYS better than my Plan A. ALWAYS!! Second, having funny friends makes this whole thing laughable and therefore bearable.